twenty-nine
I am because we are (Ubuntu) [Permanent Hiatus]
Word Count: 2191
The group was happily but lazily lounging in Junmyeon’s living room. Everyone taking this a chance to temporarily forget the stress they have been facing in school and to let loose for the night, exactly what Junmyeon intended.
Kyungsoo was currently nagging on Tao’s rare mischievous behavior after he pranked him of a table napkin with a plastic cockroach inside, eliciting a high pitched scream. Jongdae was laughing at the back as he points at Tao, his obnoxious laughter filling the air in mock response of his successful ‘teachings’. Junmyeon was busy shaking his head at the scene only to flee away to prepare a late dessert.
Silently watching with amusement, Baekhyun sits himself by the couch wanting to bask in the air of joy he had missed so badly. Jongin however, had other plans.
“Ssup Baek~” Jongin sits abruptly beside him causing the cushions to bounce on his weight.
“Ssup Nini~” He replies playfully.
Jongin snorts at the nickname eliciting a quiet laughter from Baekhyun. “Nini. Seriously.”
For a while, things were silent between the two. Baekhyun however, does not notice Jongin’s watchful eyes toward him as he laughs along the scene of a now screaming in terror Jongdae running away from Kyungsoo’s wrath and this time Tao’s turn of laughter.
“Talk to me.”
A little startled, Baekhyun looks at Jongin in question. “Hmm?”
“Talk to me Baek.” Jongin looks at him in odd intent.
“But I always talk to you.” He replies furrowing his eyebrows.
“I mean.. other than school. Talk to me.”
Cocking his head to the side, Baekhyun looks at him confused. Jongin chuckles at the pout on his friend’s face.
“About yourself.” He smiles at him fondly. “Like, what do you do at home or… how is your family like. Something about yourself. Random things.”
At the mention of home and family, Baekhyun freezes. Earlier thoughts of worry return to his head like a whirlwind causing an internal breakdown. Jongin mistake Baekhyun’s frozen state as more confusion and continues.
“Kyungsoo told me that even though you’ve known each other for so long, he still doesn’t know much about you.” He says as he turns to watch Kyungsoo fondly.
Baekhyun can see the love in his eyes as he does so, momentarily forgetting about his breakdown as he felt a pint of envy. He was brought back to a panicked state though when Jongin turns back to him and waits for a reply. Looking away, he runs through his head of memories of his past lies to Kyungsoo; trying to remember them to use as the same excuse but also hesitant because he’d rather not.
Sensing the hesitance in Baekhyun – judging from the fidgeting hands and slight gulping Jongin chuckles surprising him. “I take it as it’s too sensitive a topic?”
Not sure what to say because it is indeed a sensitive topic – too afraid of admitting the truth but too tired of hiding it as well. Panicked and not sure what exactly to do – Should he tell him now? Would this be the right time? Would he understand? Baekhyun ends up apologizing.
“I’m sorry.” And looks down in shame.
Shaking his head, Jongin takes hold of Baekhyun’s hand, thumb drawing circles caressing it in comfort, an act to reassure him it is okay.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I understand.”
Understand. Mildly confused at all the sudden understanding he is receiving, Baekhyun looks at him in question as he is reminded of Minseok’s words earlier.
Jongin doesn’t answer for a while and simply looks out the terrace where Minho and Chanyeol were standing. He has that thoughtful look in his eyes as he watched them talk. Baekhyun follows his gaze and is left even more confused.
“It’s the same with the hyungs, you know?” A squeeze to Baekhyun’s hand. “We barely know anything about them either.”
Surprised, Baekhyun turns to him still utterly confused. How could they not?
“I mean, we know a lot about them of course. All but about their families…”
“Minho hyung, Junmyeon hyung, Chanyeol hyung.” Jongin continues. “We only know the basics – they carry big names, come from prestigious backgrounds and…”
“And?...”
“You would probably understand.” Shaking his head for the nth time, Jongin chuckles bitterly. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we rarely if not ever, talk about families.”
Realizing that they don’t indeed, remembering what Junmyeon told him before about a parent’s presence, Baekhyun is beginning to understand. He’s still confused though, so he attempts to ask further.
“What about… their families?”
Biting his lips as he was not sure how to answer, Jongin looks at Baekhyun sadly. “They don’t tell us, but we can tell that every time we hold a gathering in one of our houses – Jongdae’s, Tao’s, and mine, they’d feel envy. I rarely see their parents and if we do it’s only with a mere greeting and then poof… gone again.”
“We figured that that was most probably why Chanyeol was greatly affected by his break up.”
Baekhyun remains silent, letting Jongin talk without any interruption, but he nearly slips out a painful wh
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